daisy023 | REPORT 013 :: CATHARSIS // VOICE

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REPORT 013 :: CATHARSIS // VOICE | ACTION

This is Spartan TwentyThree.

New feathers. Any and all UNSC forces in the area. Respond.

... I'm back.

[ENCRYPTED TO CLINIC PERSONNEL // TOP SECRET // EYES ONLY]

What equipment do we have in the Clinic?

[ENCRYPTED TO VALVALIS // TOP SECRET // EYES ONLY]

Thank you. I mean it.

[ENCRYPTED TO PAPRIKA // CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY]

Ma'am. That offer for treatment. Is it still standing?

[ENCRYPTED TO SUPERMAN // CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY]

...

[She sounds meek when she asks.]

Can we talk?

[ACTION FOR HOUSE 20]

[Comm matters taken care of, she goes to House Twenty, having quite remembered the matter of the hat, and it's implications. With two knocks on the front door, the armored figure calls out.]

Mr. Castagnier.

[After that...]

[Later in the day, having gotten the package, the 7ft tall girl in red armor goes to the Clinic, hat in hand, to see if there's equipment there to see if there are hairs in it to analyze for DNA. Yes, for her, that damned hat is that important.]

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[This having been a good day... her dream is pleasant enough, rather unexpectedly. Daisy was a woman that endured a lot of nightmares.

There is a girl that is barely six, accompanied by her mother and a teddy bear, that sees the blooming gardens of their house with wonder and awe. The bigger woman would cut some of these flowers, and give them to her daughter, and she would hug her in return.

But it is the younger girl that notices something strange in the environment.

Is it an angel?]

[When Paprika comes across the scene and notices the young Daisy, she's a little surprised. Talking to children isn't her strong point, but then again this is a dream. Daisy is likely just taking this form at the current stage the dream is taking place in. With that in mind, Paprika cautiously walks closer and simply stares from afar at the scene of the garden.]

[The small girl slowly ignored it, and the focus of her dream shifted to a walk to the plaza.

A civic center with a flora only smaller than the girl's home, a fountain with three water surges on the center, and tall buildings in the distance. A moon and two planets could be seen in the sky. She played with members of her family games of baseball, soccer, and grav-ball. She remembers the faces of her parents, and friends of her school.

The girl of the dream is always winning. Even against adults.

Her attention followed the ball... until Daisy saw that woman again, and her mind shifted towards the transparent wings. They reminded her of angels, though the clothing of the woman...

It reminds her of Luceti.

The sun over the plaza drops abruptly into a late evening. All souls suddenly disappear.]

[She continues to watch Daisy throughout the motions of the dream, barely blinking as they changed. Shifting dream cycles are very normal after all and not anything she didn't expect. So when the girl finally does notice her and the scene changes to evening she smiles a little and walk toward her.]

I didn't recognize one of the things you were playing. Basketball and soccer are really common, but the other one with the ball floating around was odd. What is it called?

[This has never happened before in her dreams. She gets a strange sense of lucidity from her environment... She remembers Paprika. And realizes this is a dream she is inside of.

Daisy's tiny body unconsciously shapes into that of who she was in her teenage years... a girl six feet tall.

She hesitates to answer.]

...Gravball. It's a common game where I'm from. It's...

[She has never had lucid dreams before. The fact the slightest emotion can shift then unnerves her.]

...The goal is to get the ball on the vertical rings above. ... Like mesoamerican ballgame.

[She looks uncomfortable. This is not usual.]

I see.

[She notices the uncomfortable appearance and sighs, putting on a light smile.]

It's okay. Everyone normally reacts this way, so just give yourself a minute.

[Behind Daisy, there are figures that shift between the droids of the Malnosso, and men in black suits, shades, and emblems with one-eyed pyramids. She doesn't notice them.

She attempts to meditate mid-dream. The figures dissolve without her noticing. And the city around her returns to daylight, but without other living beings.]

I've never had lucid dreams. It's odd.

[Paprika notices the figures, but before she decides to mention them they quickly vanish from sight.]

That's normal really. Dreams are not normally supposed to be easy to decipher while you are dreaming and even after you wake up. Do you get a good night's rest on normal you think?

...

Not usually.

[The environment shifts again, but Daisy remains still.]

I'm a soldier. I've been training and fighting for a long time. I have seen a lot of horrible things, and some of them, I remember nearly every night I go to sleep.

[The buildings turn into ruins of a battle past. Traces of spent rounds, glassed dirt, and bodies of humans and aliens alike materialize.

Her figure shifts from the teenager to the adult warrior in black and red armor. Her change from a small girl with a family to a behemoth of war.]

I have a lot of nightmares.

[She remembers Daisy mentioning being a chief officer of some sort. Hearing this all...

She doesn't flinch at the changes, still keeping her eyes only on Daisy. Out of her periphery she can see bodies around them, but only gives them a fleeting notice.]

Have you sought help before for these recurring night terrors? [This is shaping up to be a clear case of PTSD and needs to be dealt with in some way.]

Standard procedure. [She knows what Paprika means with that question.] We're treated for PTSD, to be able to function. But it's still something we live with. For some, the nightmares are too recurrent.

[The sky turns into night. Above it, an alien ship with the form of a shark that explodes, and two soldiers with armors similar to Daisy's come out unharmed from the explosion of plasma... Not three.]

Our treatment was meant to allow us back into the field. We were always needed.

That's ridiculous. People with such an affliction shouldn't be going out into the war zone any time soon.

[She doesn't want to judge, but the people taking care of Daisy and the other soldiers clearly didn't have the well being of the afflicted in mind, in Paprika's eyes.

The sound of the explosion causing Paprika to turn her attention to the sky for a moment, to see what caused it.]

...What kind of war were you fighting out there?

Survival.

[In the sky, another thing appears. A planet with scorch marks than can be seen from orbit.]

Our enemy was superior in numbers, strength, and technology. And called for our destruction. The common human faces hundreds of them, and the common ship is frafile against them.

Only Spartans can stop them. But we are a few dozens.

[Around them, suits of armor similar to Daisy's appear. Juggernauts built for destruction and death.]

We have the best teams, gear, training, experience, and technology covering us. We're tolerant to much, much more than the normal human. They need us. Even if it is taxing for us. Because for everyone else, it's unbearable.

[Looking at the armor alone, Paprika could tell Daisy was serious about it. The technology was very impressive and it wasn't hard to believe that it could rival many enemies on a battlefield.]

That's just an excuse. It doesn't change the fact that you were being forced to operate under conditions that are not psychologically healthy. You are human too, not machines of war.

I know. [This spoken painfully. She had heard too many times the question whenever if Spartans were human at all.]

We get the treatment we need for PTSD, and we can take a lot of punishment - physical and mental. For us this is a challenge, and we can cope with the damage. But for everyone else it's unbearable.

The place we feel the most at home... is in battle.

[This is spoken with some resignation. As much as she wants to fit, fighting is what makes her feel alive. As much as she likes the peace of Luceti, she craves for battle. She cherishes it... Even if it means risking facing loved ones. Or dying.]

Before Luceti, after all the training we made, we didn't fit anywhere else.

[The place dissolves once again. Around the armored woman, there are now several figures in all varieties of service uniforms that stare at her with discomfort, fear, and sometimes outright disgust.]

PTSD is not a challenge, it is a disorder. That is what the 'D' in it stands for and its there for a reason. If you are the only ones capable of fighting then fine, but that still does not excuse you or the people sending you out for making it a game.

[Paprika ignores the people surrounding Daisy and continues on. Those people are just projections of Daisy's mind and nothing more.]

You feel that way because the war zone has been made into your home. But, it should not be a home. Those afflicted by PTSD in a war situation may feel that they need to go back because it might relieve the stress, but it's just the opposite.

I meant... It's battle what we enjoy. I feel focused. I feel adrenaline. I feel I can break my limits. I feel I'm making a difference. That despite how strange we may be to everyone else, that I'm allowing the normal human to return home alive. Something I never got to know.

[Until Luceti.]

We never treat anyone's traumas as a joke. We know it's to be treated like an injury. We get leave like everyone else in the UNSC for time to recover when we need it. But no one can be out of fighting forever.

[The place shifts back to the first scene. The plaza with the fountain and gardens. But Daisy remains in armor.]

And even if we didn't get out to fight, what would we do? Between the Covenant burning worlds to glass, and just accepting that you were turned into a weapon and forbidden from having a childhood... what can I do?

My part in my war is over. But even this place has fighting. You know it.

I don't think the people you met in the village would call you strange for enjoying the battlefield, even if it was to that extent.

You can do anything you want. No one should restrict you from what you want to do. Whether it be to fight a battle, no matter where the war zone is, or to live a normal life. You're a person too and you shouldn't be denied those rights.

[With these words, Daisy looks at her, then sits to look at the marble road. And slowly, she calms down.

For a minute, she stays still to think, and regain control of her emotions. The armor slowly dissolves into the figure with a red jumpsuit, and the environment... transforms, but halfway it. It turns into an hybrid of the city of her childhood, and Luceti.]

Well, no one can forbid me much in this place.

[She accepts. Civilian or not, Paprika was right. Everyone in Luceti was right in that matter. Daisy was following rules she didn't know how well could they be actually applied into this place. Her voice sounds saddened and confused, but also curious.]

There's also a lot that I've always wanted to do. But sometimes I don't where to start. Or know how to do it.

...Can there be a balance between the two things? Between being a Spartam, and having a life?

Hm...there are special trained forces in my world too. I don't know much about military or government operations, but they seem to live a normal life outside of their duty to protect others. Like keeping your personal and professional life separate. It may not be the same, but in this place you can have that separation. You understand?

[Keeping both separate. Ironically... it is an alien concept to her. They were trained to have their professional life as their only one, and their personal lives... as something secondary. Something that would only come from the former, rarely worth paying much attention to.

But this place... Even when she hated the free time, it was making her develop that. A personal life. It may not be like home. It may not be the same. But maybe she can make one.

It was what she wanted since she discovered the truth from Halseu. And right now, everyone was helping her.

The merged location slowly fills with living beings, many of them familiar faces.]

I think I do.

[As she stands up, she shifts again, but returning to her form as the adult woman. Not in armor, but in what was her new feather sundress.]

It may not be the same. But there's an opportunity here. I... don't have much experience outside the military. But I want to know.

You never know until you try, right? [She lets go a breath she didn't realize she was even holding and smiles.] Still, I'm sure you'll be fine. Adapting to an environment like this takes time, but I have faith! So, you should have faith in me, for having faith in you.

[She had to give Paprika that. It would take time, but it was possible... And for a Spartan, adaptation was important. Perhaps this could be taken as another mission. Another challenge. It was the way she had been ingrained into seeing things. But now she could perhaps use that for this place.

A lot of people here had adapted. Ralph got to adapt to having a normal life, and lived happily to the end. So could she.

Daisy smiles to her.]

Thank you, Paprika.

[She cannot hug her. Dream or not, Spartans are not adapted to physical contact. Though a part of her wonders how much of that would change.]

...Sorry I am a trouble patient.

[One with an amount of issues as high as her kill count.]

[She laughs lightly.]

Oh please, don't be like that. If you are a 'troubled' patient, then what does that say about the people I had to deal with before you? [She doesn't initiate any physical contact either, just out of professionalism sake. Also Daisy is pretty large compared to her 5'5 foot self.] If you ever want to talk about this again, I'll gladly lend out my services once more.

Well... thought I'd be one of the worst.

[She blushes. She wondered if her kind of thinking was even common, but she trusted Paprika's judgement.

This time, nothing in the dream changes. Perhaps it is the way Daisy wants it? After her trip... She had tried to become a bit more open. Realizing you don't have much time left gives any person perspective.]

Thank you, ma'am. For your help. [And for being an ear.]

Dream

byakkoyagirl.livejournal.com - 2011-05-24 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Dream

daisy023 - 2011-05-24 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

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